The CRAPPIEST Avatar Parody FanFic of LoK EVER!
by Nezz.San
Summary: Just look at these reviews! "So many bad jokes."- says Korra. "ZZzz." - says Milo. "Why aren't I in this?"- says Sokka. "It's absolutely brilliant! A masterpiece!" - says Toph. Read the story no one wants to talk about! The Tale that makes people shakes their heads and despair.


EXTERIOR!

White Lotus people go to the Southern Water Tribe and knock on Korra's house door

"We have been looking for the avatar for a long time"(Short White Lotus Guy)

"Well you're search has ended."(Korra Mom)

"MANY have claimed that their child is the avatar. What makes you so sure your daughter is the one?" (Short White Lotus Guy)

"Uh…. Weeeeeellll" (Korra Mom)

The Korra parents take the White Lotus guys to a giant ice ball in their back yard.

"What is this?" (Short White Lotus Guy)

"Korra likes to be dramatic" (Korra Mom)

The giant ice ball glows, shoots a beam into the sky, and out comes a girl with her tummy hanging out.

Korra dad puts on sunglasses and begins playing a trombone, followed by korra mom slams oven door to a beat

Tiny Korra starts firebending, waterbending, and earth bending the hut into the air.

"I'M THE AVATAR! YOU GOTTA DEAL WITH IT, SUCKA!" (Korra)

"How come she didn't airbend?" (Short White Lotus Guy)

TIME SKIP!

Korra almost kills two firebenders.

"WHOO HOO! I have mastered ALL THREE ELEMENTS!"(Korra)

"Korra, there are four."(Katara)

"Like I said. _all_ THREE elements"(Korra)

"Time to learn airbending and spirituality from Tenzin."(Katara)

"Balls. Yeah alright. Time to master the stuff no one cares about that much."Korra)

"Dude, you'll learn to _**fly**_ and use spiritual powers to meet Iroh after your training…"(Katara)

"….Yeah, okay. I'm all excited now"(Korra)

Tenzin arrives.

"I can't teach you the thingies."(Tenzin)

"What?! But I was all excited…."(korra)

"Bad things are happening in my city. I have to protext it. Gotham needs me"(Tenzin)

"I could just move to Republic city."(Korra)

"Korra no."(tenzin)

"Korra yes."(korra)

"KORRA!... NO!..."(Tenzin)

"*whispers softly* …yes…"(Korra)

Tenzin leaving.

"Bye Tenzin…"(Korra)

Tenzin leaves

One second later.

"ROAD TRIP!"(Korra)

Sneaks into city, befriends hobo, argues with protesters AND THEN!

"MY 'THINGS ARE OUT OF BALANCE' SENSES ARE TINGLING!"(korra)

sees gangsters oppressing people.

"Ah yaas. Time for some vigilante justice. Hey you guys! Leave or else."(Korra)

"Who do you think you are?"(Gangsta)

"Oh me? I'm the Avat—"(Korra)

Gangstas start bending.

"Everyone saw it! Gangstas attacked me first! This is self defense!"(Korra)

Korra kicks their asses… but also kicks the building's and stores' asses too.

"Everyone saw it! Those stores attacked ME. It was self defense!"(Korra)

Metal bender police arrive!

They arrest gangstas.

Korra fangirls over metal benders.

"You are ALSO under arrest"(Metal bender police guy)

Fangirling stops.

running starts.

*CEDAR DAT ASS IN 9 WORSE IN THERE JAEGAR!*

Some cool 3D maneuvering metal benders and then Korra got arrested.

"You're going to jail!"(Lin)

"I am the Avatar!"(Korra)

"NO ONE IS ABOVE THE LAW!"(Lin)

"That's…. perfectly reasonable… Did I mention I was self defending!"(Korra)

Tenzin arrives!

"Lin… you look radiant."(Tenzin)

"Shut up, Tenzin. I am no longer vulnerable to your cool arrow tattoos and prominent rabbi beard!"(Lin)

"Damn! Fine, I'll pay for all the damages."(Tenzin)

Tenzin is apparently rich.

Korra is bailed out of the drunk tank.

Tenzin and Korra go to Alcatraz Air bender island.

"Fine… you can stay. But only cause you gotta learn to save people sooner or later."(Tenzin)

"Yay~ I promise not to screw this up!"(Korra)

"Honestly, korra. It's okay if you screw up. You're the new girl on the block. Things happen, mistakes are made, and then you learn. Your character will develop, and as imperfect as you are now, I'm sure one day you'll grow up to become a great Avatar….

At least in this fan fiction you will cause the author's friend was complaining about LoK's writing. Then again, it all depends if this project is entertaining enough for the author who has a mild form of ADD."(Tenzin)

"What?"(korra)

"Never mind. Just know that the god of THIS fictional universe is going to try to do right by your character, even though most of this was just a parody of the first episode. He plans to change a bunch of things around….

Like the whole mako asami bolin opal naga ship war debacle. That was kind of stupid and won't happen, among other things. I mean really, we're trying to save the world and you're busy complaining about romance?"(Tenzin)

"I don't really get it, but… I feel better already."(Korra)

EPISODE 2!

"So you can't airbend?"(Tenzin)

"Pffft! What?! Who—I can _airbend_! Look watch me move that leaf!"(Korra)

"Korra, you're just blowing on it."(Tenzin)

"Fine! I can't airbend! FML MAN!"(Korra)

"Don't worry, my young padawan. Just gotta channel your inner Jedi and you'll be bendin' force like nobody's bidness!"(Tenzin)

"You really think that?"(Korra)

"I do…. Now get in the obstacle course."(Tenzin)

They arrive at a platform with spinning walls of death.

"You mean these spinning walls of death?"(Korra)

"That would be the obstacle course. You must—"(Tenzin)

"Be the LEAF!"(Meelo)

"AND use circular motions."Tenzin)

"Ok… I got this."(Korra)

She doesn't has it and the spinning walls of death bounced the Avatar around like a pinball.

The airbending gods accepted Tenzin's sacrifice to them and were appeased… for now.

THE NEXT DAY

"I want to watch the bENDER'S GAME"(Korra)

"No! AND NO 'KORRA. YES.' THIS TIME. That 'sport' is a mockery of all things bending!"(Tenzin)

"These uniforms are a mockery of all things bending."(Korra)

"They're traditional Air Nomad clothes!"(Tenzin)

"I dunno man. They're orange. We're on Alcatraz. I feel like a prisoner."(Korra)

"You're NOT a prisoner!... But you can't leave the island to watch bEnder's Game."(Tensin)

"FIIIINNNNEEEE"(Korra)

1 second later.

"You can't cage the BEAST! THIS IS MY PRISON BREAK EPISODE!"(Korra)

Sneaks into sports stadium.

Meets Bolin, Mako and Waterbending dude who will apparently die soon and never appear again.

Let's give him a cool death.

The promise is made.

But for now.

"The name is Bolin. I'm cute, a bit round, and everyone loves me."(Bolin)

"I am Mako. I'm kind of a sour puss in the beginning and I don't like people…. And I don't like you. You should leave."(Mako)

"Come on Mako, I have a really good feeling about her. There's just something. She's _special_"(Bolin)

"Are you sure you're not just horny?"(Mako)

"No, I'm pretty sure she's got like super powers or something, Well, time to go"(Bolin)

"Good Luck!"(Korra)

Water bending teammate screams internally at having no lines during that dialogue.

The Fire Ferrets go play.

Match starts.

Water Bending guy is newbing it up and keeps getting pwned.

"Water dude! Stop feeding them!"(Mako)

More match stuff.

I'm watching this slowly and I STILL don't understand these rules.

Mako wins the match, though.

I dunno… he carried and solo took the nexus. Whatever

And also _took_ Korra's heart.

"You're still here?"(Mako)

"And you're still a butt? A magnificent butt – Congratulations on winning the match! The boxing thing was cool."(Korra)

"I could teach you. though, I dunno how it would work with your waterbending?"(Bolin)

"It's cool, I'm an earthbender"(korra)

"Oh. Sorry I wasn't trying to stereotype cause you have water tribe clothes"(Bolin)

"No, as long as you're aware, we're square. Also I am actually a waterbender, and a firebender"(Korra)

"Hmmmm~…. Ya lost me"(Bolin)

"You're the Avatar and I'm an idiot"(Mako)

"Very observant, peasant"(Korra)

"*GAAAAAAAAaaaaassssssppppp* *Intense Fanboying* *Intense wheezing* … It's the avatar…. Oh! And I totally called that! BOOM! Told you she was special! And you said I was just horny. Well! Who looks stupid now?!"(Bolin)

THE NEXT DAY

"Tenzin, maybe I just suck…"(Korra)

"It's fine… Take your time."(Tenzin)

"Ok…. Here we go again!"(Korra)

The spinning walls of doom beat the crap out of korra again.

The air bender gods are appeased _and_ entertained again.

Apparently Air nomads were known for their great sense of humor and troll bending.

Korra is knocked outside of the obstacle course and begins firebending angrily.

"Well… at least she held it in till after she was_ outside_ of the course. These spinny things are priceless antiques after all."(Tenzin)

"Grrr…. *sigh* sorry Tenzin. I'm just not getting it."(Korra)

"It takes time, little buddy. You don't become a Master in two days. Also if you're failing to learn, it means I'm failing to teach. We're in this together. You have nothing to be sorry about."(Tenzin)

"I just need to take a breather."(Korra)

LATER THAT NIGHT

"I can't believe waterbending guy is a no show!"(Mako)

Meanwhile Waterbending guy is kidnapped by the equalists.

"You must feel foolish for trying to save those children, waterbending guy. Now kneel so I can take away your bending"(Amon)

"Never. I'll never kneel to assholes like you."(Waterbending guy)

"There's never been an asshole like me."(Amon)

"…There are always assholes like you…"(Waterbending guy)

Blood bending is used to make waterbending guy kneel.

He realizes it and is about to reveal Amon's secret!

"He's a blood ben—"(Waterbending guy)

But Amon destroys his insides.

As waterbending guy falls to the ground and coughs up blood, he stares blankly at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry Mako… Bolin… We were supposed to win the championships together… I know you guys will make it someday though…"(Waterbending)

Meanwhile back at the stadium.

"Damn it, that flaking flaky flake…."(Mako)

"So much for that"(Bolin)

"You guys! I can waterbend. Just put me on your team."(Korra)

"But you're the avatar… I'm pretty sure this is cheating."(Bolin)

"It's only cheating if we get caught"(Korra)

They get caught.

"oops" (Korra)

The officials rule that they don't want the avatar to get angry and go into the avatar state and wreck the building, so she can stay IF she only uses waterbending.

"lucked out on that. Good thing they don't know I can't go into the avatar state"(Korra)

But Korra's still losing because she didn't spec her Evasion high enough.

From the shadows, Tenzin's voice speaks to Korra.

Both figuratively and literally cause he heard that the avatar was bend gaming from the radio, and rushed over to the stadium.

"Use the force Korra. Let go of your worldly desires and release yourself from your earthly tethers"(Tenzin)

"*Whew* you got this. Remember what Tenzin taught you and what Meelo said! BE THE FREAKIN' LEAF, DAMN IT!"(Korra)

Korra starts doing circle movements and gets evasion bonus from newly acquired skill.

Fire Ferrets win the match.

Bolin greatly approves.

Mako approves.

"Well, how about that?"(Tenzin)

Tenzin greatly approves.

Back on Air Temple Island

"Tenzin. I did the Bagua thing!"(Korra)

"Congratulations. I knew you had it in you."(Tenzin)

"Also, one other thing…."(Korra)

"Yes?"(Tenzin)

"I went to the bEnder's Game, I actually played with the fire ferrets, and we were losing, but I guess I learned the air movement stuff under pressure, ANYWAYS…. I'm sorry. I know you told me not to go but.."(Korra)

"Yes. Well… you looked amazing out there."(Tenzin)

"You were watching!?"(Korra)

"Yes. I'm surprised you didn't see me soccer moming it out there, actually."(Tenzin)

"… I want to join the team permanently."(Korra)

"If it helps you master airbending and improve, I don't have a problem with it."(Tenzin)

"…. Thanks, Tenzin…. For everything."(Korra)

"My pleasure Avatar Korra."(Tenzin)


End file.
